Hello, and welcome to the mind of Jester-of-the-Clown.

This is a short view of my mind, and a guide to where my profile lies.

Yes, I am an autistic deviant.

So what?

It's not like I have two heads...

...

or something...

Generally, this is where the self-absorbed author (autistic or otherwise) starts his long and melancholy statement of himself, his life, or other melancholy statements.

And trust me: I am not going to be melancholy.

Or boring.

Or irascible.

Or maybe even... QUEER...

In all basics, I'm pretty normal your everyday sociopath.

And yes, thar weel b BEIG WURDS!! WAL SPAELT, TU!!

Heh heh.

I love phonetic humor.

The reason is it SOUNDS the same, but doesn't look vaguely like the actual word found in the dictionary.

So, uh, YEAH...

This is about me.

For a little bit.

For some time.

Longer than most...

Soon enou-- OKAY, THAT'S FAR ENOUGH!! I don't need to launch off rambling like I usually do...

And now: for the basic facts!

I am around fifteen

I am caucasian (aren't we all?......... Not really...)

I am kinda tall ('bout 5'11"- 6')

Got big feet (size 10 1/2)

Got big hands (and they're useful, too! I can eat FOOD with them and everything! Aren't I special?)

Got brown hair ( it gets kinda greasy from time to time, but that's my hygiene, folks)

My eyes aren't going to be divulged... they're just nice, okay?

I have a friend. His name is Jack. He annoys the living fuck out of me. And I annoy the living fuck outta him. *>But we deal. Somewhat. kind of. Not really (It's Kerry. He's trying to make us all like HIM!!!)...<*

I have another friend. His name is David. He talks. At length... Whether you want him to or not... and there's nothing you can do to stop him... *See above for how we cope...*

Back to just me now:

I play the piano. (I like pounding the keys quickly. It's relaxing. Some opera arias are particularly cool. "Nessun Dorma" is one such aria.)

I play the trumpet. (Rather well. But... uhm... I hate practice... Or I just don't like work... I play 'Flight of the Bumblebee" from time to time... kinda slowly...)

I play the computer. (I like playing online flash RPG games, particularly Armor Games' "Sonny". However, I've been trying to limit myself, so you might not see me frequently at some points...)

I play the system (KIDDING!)

I write FanFics (I believe my NarutoXThe Darkness crossover is doing quite well. However: writer's block is a bitch. So's a password-protected computer)

I like girls. Alot. With intensity. And some lust. But that’s just me.

I don’t like stalkers, true perverts, manipulative shits, momma’s boys, butch girls, pagans, zealots, atheists, idiots, conformists, or ass-kissers (like YOU Alyssa!).

I like books. Hey, it’s an escape from reality or an expansion of my knowledge!

I like being evil. No need to be perfect then…

I don’t like whistleblowers. At all. They hate me for being too friggin’ sexy, and I hate them for bein’ too damn ugly.

I DESPISE “gay” people. I won’t kill them, rape them, hurt them, curse/scream at them. But I don’t have to like them.

I like beautiful feminine stuff. Anything that comes from or is inspired by an ideal girl I will pretty much adore. I’m just like that.

I like masculine things. I am pretty much the straightest guy you’ll ever meet. Put me in drag and throw me into a gay bar for eight hours, and I’ll walk back out with my virginity intact.

I like chivalry. Always have. Always will. It’s just one of those things that never seems to fade…

I like hentai. So what? If you’ve got a problem with my tastes, go somewhere else where someone will care.

I don’t like porn. My reasons are: if it’s gonna be real, let it be fully real. No surgically or digitally modified phalluses, no supremely ugly women, no unrealistic situations.

I like sophisticated sexual media. Give me a good “sex pic” and I will surely give you some pointers.

I despise with a vengeance low-brow sexual media. Anything that imitates sensuality badly deserves to die slowly. And painfully.

I like new ideas, philosophies, so forth. The simple newness wins me over…

I don’t like female social workers. It’s just something about them that makes my skin crawl and my brain want to scream various obscenities.

I like intelligent people. I just do.

I like blunt people (like Jack). They get to the point and don’t lie often.

I usually don’t like mystics (like David). They always seem to have some really strange thing to say that doesn’t make sense to any degree save their own. This is why I can’t bear to get into a discussion about good and evil with my rather superstitious acquaintance.

I don’t like full-of-shit people. You know: those bastards that always have some moderately stupid input? They just keep goin’ and goin’ and goin’ and goin’ and goin’ and goin’… and goin’…. AND THEY NEVER SHUT UP!!!

I like smart girls. Always have. That’s why my sister and Meghan Nishimura are close to my heart…

I don’t like dumb girls. Erika, your grave marker is calling…

I don’t like lucky dumbasses. How can a fucking moron with muscles the size of grapes and a brain half that get a semi-hot girlfriend? I ask you.

I detest self-righteous twits. Nancy and a certain cyber-terrorist come to mind…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNND…. this is where I leave off for now.

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